A few days ago

April 27, 2010

I forgot what I was going to write

There has been a lot going on

New living situation

New City

And a fluctuating relationship

I'm feeling a little lost

Time to go back to the basics

Kick it Old School

From an early age I have taken many lessons from listening to the lyrics of my favourite hip-hop songs from these "reporters of the streets" telling it how it is.

"It's like that and that's the way it is" Some times there is just nothing you can do about it. Sometimes it's better to accept things the way they are and flow with it after all true change can only come from within. Sometimes we are better off to do our own thing and develop an awareness of the societal stories being played out around us so they don't bother us as much, so we can sense the flow.

"It's not about a salary it's all about reality" Do what you gotta do. Follow your path. Follow your heart. And go where it leads. There is no need to concern oneself with whether it pays too much or not enough. More wealth will come from following your heart than following the $s. And if that still doesn't put enough food on the plate create opportunities that do or find someone who can.

"keep your mind on ya riches" Take the time to determine what it is that you value in this life (it may surprise you) and then tale the time to realize where these values are expressed in your life. Focus on these; the riches that are already and eternally present - nothing else matters.

"A coward dies a thousand deaths"

James

Blue Sunday

Maybe it was the three days without much sleep. Maybe it was the three days without much food. Maybe it was the third day that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Whatever caused it I was in the darkest state of mind I had seen in a long time - I was Grumpy!

Now I don't exactly remember what I used to do when I woke up grumpy - I probably ignored it, I probably pulled myself out of bed and I probably bit off the head of the first person I ran into. Not this time. This Sunday, after I had managed to peel myself out of bed (or off the floor as the case may have been;) I found myself naturally reaching for the books I had picked up as a part of my yoga teacher training. After taking a moment to be thankful for such a conditioned response I started reading. Soon I landed on Patanjali's yoga sutra III.24 :

Maitryadisu balaani

Translation/Comentary by Ramamurti S. Mishra:

"As a result of samyama (concentration) on friendliness, compassion, etc. physical, mental and spiritual strength arises"

"Friendliness, compassion and complaisance are three great feelings. By feeling friendliness and fellowship for living beings who are in happiness, one discovers the mental and moral power of friendliness and fellowship. By feeling compassion for those who are in misery and suffering, one discovers the power of compassion. By feeling joy for those who are disposed to merit, one discovers the power of joy. By developing neither hate nor love for sinners, one cultivates the power of judgement and impartiality."

Once again I found myself counting my blessing and feeling especially fortunate to so often find myself in the company of the meritorious, joyous and happy (even if it does keep me out all day and all night). And such reflection always puts me in the right frame of mind to be more compassionate : )

Keep your mind on your riches,

James

It Comes Around

"Von Douche!" was the thought that came to mind. I had said something I regretted. I had acted in an insensitive and self important manner. I had been an ass.

It seemed that the daily acts of giving and reminders of the range of human experience India offered must have left an impression as I found I tended to give (a dollar, a smile or a fresh sandwich) to the people on the streets of New York City more freely than ever before. But back here, where I grew up, I feel a greater distance between myself and the "problems of the world" a distance that makes it hard to care. I feel it takes a little more effort to pull out of my own little world and look from an other's point of view.

Thankfully I have friends that do it for me! "Von Douche" was made popular, by a friend, as a toast to those instances where we let some words slip out of our mouth that signify just how much we are caught up in our own little world (a recent example; "What's the big deal!? - I was just chiming in on something that doesn't effect me." - Von Douche). All in good fun this little exercise has reminded me of the importance of a well placed, self, von douche in the ongoing process of creative destruction required to make any change with an awareness of its root. External experiences can only change us if we let them... maybe I am right in the middle of the world's "problems" after all

: )

With a little help from my friends,

James

A special thanks to Susan for starting the trend. And, because I can't help it, an unrelated plug for my friends; The Michael James Band - www.myspace.com/michaeljamesband

It seems I like doing this so I am (re) starting a blog; http://journeyintothestorm.blogspot.com

Tales From India

Jan. 26

‘Into the silence’

Hello Friends!

It took 4 days to get here but the last week in India has been quite interesting; besides the delays, mised connections and 24hrs in Paris on the way here India has provided every experience imaginable (well almost ; ) from a lost passport, which we have found, to cow dung in the street, which we have stepped in ; ) ... A Lot!

Most of our time has been spent in Varanasi - a city devoted to the Hindu god of creative destruction, Shiva - which is full of religious ceremonies, men offering everything from rides in boats ("Hello!; Boat?") to opium, hashish etc. ("I got what you need; high quality"), to beautiful silk shops full of hand woven cloth. The city itself is built on the Ganga - a holy river originating in the Himalayas - and at times it seems that there are as many cows as there are people which does not leave much room on the narrow mid-evil streets!

Tomorrow we leave for a ten day, silent, meditation retreat in Both Gaya - a town marking the place where the Buddha sat under the tree. Although I am looking forward to the experience I cannot imagine what ten days without talking will feel like... more on that later.

Peace out,

James

Feb. 6

‘Well that was interesting:’


Ten days of silence... well I must say:



That the first words are hard to find J.K. The first 5 days were amazingly relaxing- I felt like I had had a whole body massage! And then I got hungry... On the 7th night I had had enough of only eating two meals a day and had to leave for dinner... where I proceeded to have a wonderful conversation about beauty with a Swedish chef (soon to enter architecture school). And this was by far the highlight of the ten day retreat. It served as a great reminder of what provides the richness in life- good people (and good food;). And I must say that I am thankful to have the relationships that I have developed with all of you!

The meditation instruction was interesting and the main thing that I had confirmed was that retreats like this are not what is important - The important thing is to have some sort of daily practice that helps you deal with and mentally process the events of life - it can be music or dancing talking to a loved one or brushing ones teeth! All that matters is that it is approached with a calm mind!

Anyways I am running out of time now so more latter.

Ciao,

James

Feb. 15

‘I Think We’re Alone Now’

It began with the Thurumpf...Thurumpf...Thurumpf that was the cold idle of a bus that had probably seen better days when the Beatles visited this part of the world! Being the only Westerner on this bus full of women I soon had a new mother, a new sister and probably many new wives - I did not understand much as they joked and laughed and sang : ) And then Biff!, Pow!, Slap! everyone quited down as a fist fight between the bus driver and the ticket taker broke out in front of the bus. Many people were called over and they apparently solved their money dispute as the bus only left the station 15 minutes late. I choose to keep my eyes closed for most of the 11hr journey to Vrindavan. I now understand why India is such a spiritual place ; )

And I am sure my friend Kat had and eventful start to her solo travels as well - I discovered that the key to our Rhisikesh Guest house was firmly lodged in my pocket when it was far too late to do anything about it! - Sorry Kat : )

Another one bites the dust,

James

Feb. 22

India - Om Namo Bhagavateh Basodeva

At least that's what it sounded like... Yesterday a member of the Brahmin (upper) class gave me a free tour around Vrndavan and shared with me his personal mantra, "Om Namo Bhagavateh Basodeva", - I have no clue what it means! But its meaning is not nearly as important as its significance - you see the cool thing to do in this holy city is to focus ones mind on God usually through the silent repetition of a mantra. This is reassuring because it means that I do not have to worry about how my shirt, that is not supposed to hold a smell, is starting to hold a smell - everyone's minds are focused on more important things ; )

To go a little deeper - I have been spending about half of each day hanging out with people who originally came here in the early 1970s at an Ashram (spiritual, bare bones, guest house) deticated to Hanuman - the monkey god - and you see the special thing about Hanuman was that he was just a regular monkey; clumsy, awkward and not so bright, until he was focus his mind on God with perfect concentration then he was more like superman with the strength to leap over oceans or so the story goes...

But, as my guide showed me, most of this city is dedicated to Lord Krishna - (loosely) the god of love - and to keep your mind focused on god means to keep love in your heart and a joy for life. He took me to three special places: Vrndavan Garden, the home of Krishna and a Shiva temple. At the garden he explained that Vrn means Tulsi (a type of tree) and davan means garden because the site of this city used to be a forest of these low trees. Then it was on to the home of Krishna and the temple there where the priests explained that making a donation would bring happiness to my mother and father - needless to say I parted with some cash and now I think there is a plaque with there name on it... and then it was on to the only temple in Vrndavan dedicated to Lord Shiva (the protector/destroyer) there I was told that a donation would bring happiness to my sister : ) Only afterward did I find out that she will now meet her husband... and I will now meet my wife! - If I had only known it was soo easy! ; )

Tomorrow I leave Vrndavan, and the holy cities, for some time in the Himalayas and a town named Almora where it is possible that I will be that only foreigner... better pack a Hindi-English dictionary : )

Free your mind and the rest will follow,

James

March 5

Done & Done

Like we always do about this time...

Reflecting back on the past 18 months of my life it appears it has been some quest for deeper meaning - some might call it a spiritual quest. Hell; I just needed to gain some perspective ; )

Though I cannot claim any insight into the mysteries of life; I have come as far as I can on my current path and now feel the strong urge for something more geographically stable. In these past 18 months I have lived in many places, New Orleans, Cincinnati, New York, Montreal, Lawrenceburg (Kentucky) to name a few, and I have had the great fortune of meeting many wonderful people. But as I continue to broaden my journey and search out something 'different' I get more of the same. It becomes more and more obvious that, even in India, people share the same root. We all share the same desire to be understood and accepted - Cultures the world over differ only on the surface. Communication methods change but the fundamental purpose of communication remains the same.

The commonality behind these tears and fears. These winks and warmth (as I write this I am all too aware of the fact that I can name WAY more negative expressions and emotions than positive ones!). Are all expressed best through myth and legend because they are larger than our individuality, they are something we know too well to fully understand.

As many who have come before us we term the present cultural shifts as degradation, and maybe they are... One thing that I have learnt is that to love is more rewarding than to be loved - And that is something we all can experience!

Mama I'm coming home,

James

Ps - "it's" soo not over ; ) - I have decided to cut my India trip 'short' (I'd say I finished before the deadline) and will arrive in New York next Friday - from there I do not know what will happen - I find myself experiencing that, all too familiar, fear of an uncertain future... at least I have more experience listening to it's warning and letting it go quickly. Though plunging in does seem to be the only way I know ; ) Over and out.